Congratulations Massachusetts ‘22 Graduates! It’s been a wild ride. Now it’s time to celebrate with photos to last a lifetime. These are victory photos. This is to prove that we made it through. This is your chance to commemorate your journey with photos that capture the best of your times. Get your Instagram post, group celebratory photos, and LinkedIn headshot all at one discounted price!
Self-portrait content tends to be my most engaged with work. I’m not going to even pretend it has anything to do with me. Really I think the interest comes from a combination of curiosity and (hopefully) a connection to attempts at self expression. The engagement, regardless the reasoning, always leaves me surprised in the best ways.
Self-portraits are how I started photography, where I become most artistically frustrated, and what I ultimately feel most connected to.
People ask me where to start and I always say the same thing… you just have to do it.
I find myself getting caught in the details. And details are important, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to expression, getting caught up in perfection has only ever left me falling flat, feeling stuck.
So just do it! Go out and challenge yourself. Observe and learn. Take the “best” photos, take the “worst,” so long as you click that shutter and just shoot.
When I first started photography I become stuck on the equipment. I soon found however that so long as a picture can be taken, the equipment doesn’t determine the photos. You don’t need the best camera body or lens, you don’t even need a camera… use your phone or even laptop! No tripod? Get creative! 1/2 my photos have been taken by propping up my camera in weird places and using some crop adjustment magic!
And click a lot. Sometimes it takes one-hundred to get one but oof that one feels good.
Once I got over being caught up in equipment, I found myself getting caught up in the aesthetics of myself as a subject. Not caught up in a creative sense either. No, this was a projection of every little insecurity combined with my inability to do any sort of hairstyling. This one took a while to get past. It’s hard to take the photo when you dread what you’ll see.
I don’t think people realize how (unfortunately) normal that feeling is. So many of my clients immediately start to shrink themselves in front of the camera because they’ve already counted themselves “out”. And it’s silly that we do this (something I’m sure you’ll hear many more rants from me about).
So how did I get over it? I followed my own advice. The more I pushed myself to just take the picture, over and over again, regardless of makeup or hair or lighting, the more I began to like what I saw.
While this photoshoot was me pushing myself in a new way to actually dress up, I’ve found that I tend to love my messy and raw self-portraits more. I’ve found a new admiration for the process, overcoming the “icks” that come with taking photos of yourself as the artist and the muse. This acceptance has created an ease that only comes with practice.
And hype yourself (or any other subject) as you do it. Show yourself kindness and compassion. Let any left over anxiety fuel your art instead of allowing it to hinder your willingness to even take the photo.
An obstacle I am currently facing is anxiety around locations, particularly the risk of others seeing me take self-portraits. When shooting with other people this isn’t a concern, and I do my best to make all parties involved feel comfortable and light hearted. When it’s just me, my camera, and a random onlooker however, it gets a bit more awkward . Being a photographer in Worcester, Massachusetts opposed to being predominantly based in Maine has been an adjustment in this sense. I’m finding new locations however discretion is a bit more hard to find, especially on a time crunch.
The other day I decided to challenge myself by going to a park that I drive by often and always think to stop at but never do because of people. I’m so glad I put my anxieties to the side. I realized how few people even seemed to notice (this may also be a regional thing… I’ve noticed Mainers tend to want to talk more haha!). The few who did were merely curious and moved on quickly. LESSON?
I think it’s important to make a note about safety here. There’s a difference between feeling unsafe in a situation and self-conscious about taking photos. Please be very aware and trusting of the first feeling. Make sure to prioritize your safety regardless of location, and tell trusted people where you are going when you decide to take self-portraits alone. Among other precautions I take for safety, I cary an alarm with me when I take self-portraits and only have gear out that I need. It sucks that this is a conversation but it’s an important. one.
NO PICTURE IS WORTH YOUR SAFETY!!!!
Sure, I’ve been saying “just click the shutter” for a whole post but this translates to everything. That thing you’ve been really wanting to do but feel so overwhelmed or unprepared to take on? Just start. Do it and mess up and learn and do it again. Over and over. Give yourself time and compassion and reflect but keep doing it.
Okay, I’ll admit I’m biased being a senior portrait photographer and all, but I still want to address this question because I did DIY senior photos myself and can see the appeal.
Photography services, like any investment, are often expensive and not always an option for every senior. It gets more confusing when all your friends may swarm to a specific photographer who may 1) not be your style 2) not be in your price range or 3) not have availability. And then we all have our friend who is really good at working that portrait mode on their iPhone, so why not just have your own shoot? That’s an option too.
Let’s first break down the choice to hire a professional photographer or to DIY your own shoot, then we will discuss how to find your best match if you do choose a professional photographer.
My first recommendation to anyone deciding how to go about their senior photos, especially right now in a time of COVID, is to ask yourself what you want. Senior photos can be more than a simple photo for the yearbook. A senior photo session can serve as an entire experience, as a chance to treat yourself, and as a way to create content you can look back to years to come and remember this current time and who you are in it. So ask yourself, “Do I want an experience?”. Then think about what you want in photos. Is there a certain style you’re drawn to? Do you want a lot of photos? Do you want photos with a professional look to them or photos you might not otherwise be able to take on your own? If you answer yes to these questions then you will most likely find more value in deciding to hire a photographer opposed to taking the senior photos yourself or through a (non-photographer) friend.
Maybe you honestly do not care about the photos, and that’s completely fine! If you don’t want to make a big deal about your senior photos than it really might not be worth it for you to invest in a professional photographer. That’s an honest conversation you want to have with yourself. If you feel hesitancy in saying “I don’t care” then maybe ask if it’s just that you don’t feel comfortable with the idea. If being uncomfortable or nervous is the case then a professional photographer might actually be really good, in that they can help you to be more comfortable in front of the camera. But if you honestly do not care to take the time to hire a photographer or spend the money, maybe choose to treat yourself on something else that makes you happy. My biggest be honest with yourself to help make a decision you won’t look back negatively on in the future.
Finding a photographer that fits your price range, style, and availability can be difficult and overwhelming, which can lead you to jump the gun in booking a photographer that might not be the best fit or maybe resulting in you just giving up on the search all together. My best recommendation is to ask yourself what “style” you are looking for. Use Pinterest and Instagram to find ideas and then look for local photographers to your area. Shop around with pricing if that’s your concern as well, see what is the normal rate in your area and work from there. Ask your photographer about their style of shooting if you have questions. If you are nervous or concerned about something be upfront and ask your photographer about it, they should be glad to help!
It’s always best to start this process as early as possible to ensure that you are able to book with a photographer you love at a time that you love!
I’ve done my best to be as unbiased as possible throughout this post. What I’ve written is honest and inspired by my own experience with and knowledge of the subject. But I also am transparent and confident in my services so here’s a quick photography plug!
This is my fourth season shooting senior photos and they have become one of my favorite types of sessions. If you are looking for natural, authentic, and playful photography curated specifically to your personality and wants, we may be a great match.
I am currently booking 2021 seniors!
This morning I posted an Instagram poll on my story asking what would be preferred: tips, tricks, and inspiration for senior photos or for self portraits. You voted and I acted accordingly… so let’s get straight into today’s self portrait shoot!
Let’s start off by answering the why, when, where, and what then we’ll get into the how.
It often helps to put some planning into your shoots but sometimes the best photos really are the ones you didn’t plan on taking. Today’s portraits were a bit of an in-between. I’m currently working on a project that I’m putting a lot of time and effort into planning carefully, paying attention to all the details. I put “take photos” on my TO-DO list today but didn’t necessarily anticipate taking these photos. After getting so many requests for self-portrait work I decided to use this shoot as a “trial” for parts of my larger project.
These photos were taken this afternoon between 1:30-2:30 pm. The weather was beautiful with temperatures in the mid-high 60s and a full sun shinning. Often full sun isn’t the most fun to shoot in, especially for self portraits which requires a lot more trial and error than usual, but where I chose to shoot was mostly shade.
I chose to shoot right in my backyard in the (mostly) shade. I used a white sheet, lacrosse goal, several lacrosse balls, and some cushions for a backdrop with all natural lighting. I’ll show a picture below!
I decided to do something a bit different which was to play around with props (well really only one prop today). I used to use props a lot in my self-portrait photography when I first started but haven’t much since. The prop I used was this golden yellow fabric I had ordered off of Amazon for my other project. I really liked shooting with it and gave me a chance to brainstorm some other ideas.
I matched the golden fabric with a lacy green top I had bought a while ago, and a grey skirt. spoiler alert… the skirt didn’t last long.
I loved the color contrast of my clothing with the white background and decided to really play around with the softness of it all while still sneaking in some fierceness. I love when more intimate photos project an essence of strength.
I’ve explained the process of taking senior photos, including all my gear, in a previous blog post, which you can check out here, so I don’t want to be too repetitive. What was different about this shoot was perhaps the intimacy of it.
I’ve talked and written about the extra vulnerability that comes with taking photos of yourself. You are more likely to notice the logistical aspects and the personal ones, both which can sting at times and become frustrating when they don’t seem to workout how you envision. There is an additional level that comes when you do a more intimate shoot like this one, an added sensitivity and often an added bit of self-consciousness and doubt.
My biggest piece of advice is to prepare for the rough photos, there will be plenty. You will likely feel discouraged at some point but keep pushing through. Pay attention to how you are positioning your body, where you are putting your weight, and how the outfit you are wearing (or not wearing) is falling in the photo. These little things take some time to adjust and fix. Then look at lighting, if the lighting isn’t good you will have a very difficult time feeling confident in the photos. For more on lighting read this post.
KEEP SHOOTING. CLICK.CLICK.CLICK.
It might feel repetitive and discouraging but even when you think you have the shot, take MORE. Pay attention to the little details. What do you like about the picture? Keep that. What do you dislike? Fix it in the next.
I took almost a hundred photos for this session and only edited a few. This is more likely to happen when you do experimental photo sessions or are new to the process. There is a lot of trial and error but you just need to embrace it!
Play around.
This is another trick. Be creative with your shoot. Even if you’ve made a plan, expand past it. Play with your surroundings, with your clothing, with your props, and with your posing. Keep taking photos and doing new things. This is how you create the best work, by doing something you haven’t done before until you create what others haven’t created before. This is also a great way to begin to develop your own style.
Lastly: PRAISE YOURSELF, SUPPORT YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF.
After taking these photos for about an hour practically naked in my back yard, I was a bit over it. Let me just admit that they didn’t come out how I’d imagined and I was extremely discouraged and frustrated as my backdrop kept falling down and my skin was itchy and my hair just couldn’t sit right. But I took the time to breath and drink some water and kept shooting, focusing on what I loved about a shot and doubling down in the next. It’s important to recognize what doesn’t look the best but theres no need to focus on it. Recognize it, fix it, move on. That’s a good rule for life in general.
So at the end of your shoot, give yourself a pat on the back and something sweet (or salty). You did that.
And now for the photos.
If you would like to skip my drawn out, over-explained stories regarding life, creativity ( or lack thereof), and frustration skip straight to the “how” section. If you would like to skip over all parts of my blabbering and just see photos then I recommend scrolling down a bit. If you would like to skip over my blabbering and the photos… just click the little red “x” mark at the upper left-hand corner of your screen because you’ve come to the wrong place…
It had been almost a month since I last picked up my camera. Between moving home and settling into the overall chaotic nature that is the world’s current reality, taking photos was the last thing on my mind. In fact, when I did think of my camera I became overwhelmed. As someone so used to pouring my emotion into creative outlets, it’s a strange thing to suddenly be overwhelmed by even the idea of sorting out my feelings long enough to snap a photo. As time has gone by my anxieties have settled and my mindset shifted. The stress and unease are still there but I’ve become more at peace with it, accepting that I am in control of myself and no-one/nothing else.
Last night I decided that it was time to blow the dust off my camera and shake off any expectations I had for myself regarding quality or concept or depth. I made a pact with myself “get up, get dressed, try something different, and if it doesn’t work you can act like it didn’t happen”. I decided not to attempt to sort out my feelings, to just allow myself to be.
This morning I woke up early knowing that rain was expected around 10:00 am. I got out of bed, I washed my face, threw on some mascara and concealer, and picked out the most comfortable, light, outfit I could find. I didn’t even brush my hair (but you probably already guessed that). I tend to take my self-portraits outside in meadows, or on the beach, or in any number of messy rooms. Last month I did a fun and creative self-portrait shoot in front of a blank wall. I had little hearts sloppily taped to my face and neck as I sat in front of the small section of clear wall in my college dorm’s common room. I loved the look of the blank wall and soon regretted not having used it earlier. With everything happening I didn’t want more chaos, I wanted simple and bright and raw. So with that in mind, I grabbed a large sheet and headed outside with my camera. I wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out but to spice it up a made a little time-lapse.
As someone who epically fails at most “DIY” projects I can honestly say this set up is straightforward and pretty time efficient.
one large sheet of your choice of color
a clothing line (you can substitute this for something else to hang the sheet on)
tripod
camera
remote (optional)
a note on the last three points:
About 90% of my self portraits have been taken without a tripod, up until January of this year I had never even used a remote (now I use an app on my phone), and now a’days you can rock a photoshoot out with your phone if you don’t have access to a camera. I used to stack my camera on books instead of using a tripod and to focus the photos I’d put a pillow where I would be, focus it, set a timer, run back in front of the camera and throw the pillow to the side. I’d repeat this about 100x. It takes time and is frustrating but it works.
The rest is pretty straightforward.
For this shoot I used my Canon 5d Mark IV with a 50mm 1.8 lens. This particularly camera connects to my phone through wi-fi so I was able to use my phone as a remote to take the photos. The tripod I used is a Sunpak TravelLite Pro which I personally wouldn’t recommend. I invested in the product because of its great reviews but constantly have issues with the legs coming off. This may just be me but if you are looking for tripods and are on a budget I think there are better options out there.
I shot from 9:00 am to about 9:40 outside in overcast weather. The lighting was soft though the overcast did create some heavy shadows (just something to be conscious of).
ISO: 100
Apature: f/2.8 & f/2.0
Shutter speed: 1/250
Obviously camera settings are unique to each shoot but I figured I’d include them!
Here is the outcome of this whole mess of thoughts, emotions, and settings.
There’s a little time lapse down there too!
From Portland, Maine to Worcester, Massachusetts I found myself inspired by the dynamic surroundings of life, by nature and by friends. I tried new ways of capturing fleeting moments and returned to some old ways. I felt a lot and I learned a lot.
What a beautiful start to a new year. Here are a few of my favorite days in January.
Phelan and I have been shooting together for almost seven years. We met through Instagram. Inspired by her style and stellar Instagram feed, I commented on one of her posts asking if she’d like to shoot together. This was months before Instagram came out with direct messaging through the app, I had just purchased a camera, and hadn’t even graduated middle school.
We met up at the local recreational fields around sunset and took fun, poorly focused, backlit photos. They are some of my favorite.
Now in college, several years and hairstyles later, Phelan and I are still shooting, constantly switching up locations and styles.
These photos inspire me. Phelan is a savage, boss, of a women and the photos show it.
But no shoot comes absolutely free of dilemmas and in honor of the growth shown in this shoot, I figured I’d share some problems I, as a photographer, faced and how I handled them.
This shoot wasn’t really a shoot. It was more of a “I’ll bring my camera for the hang” . Sometimes this is what produces the best photos, no stress involved.
Had I planned to shoot I would have tried my best to avoid shooting at 1pm on a bright, sunny day. Shooting under direct light can often produce a number of problems, harsh lighting and weird shadows being two examples. But, especially during busy seasons, you will eventually be faced with the dilemma of mid day lighting .
We started off shooting in a patch of woods in our town. The lighting was really harsh and seemed at first to wash everything out, making it difficult for Phelan to see. When we moved under the shade of trees, the leaves casted shadows across her face, and the bright light gave off a green hue. These are common problems I’ve faced while photographing, even during the “perfect” hours of shooting.
Don’t be afraid to move around to find the best lighting. Try different angles and positions. It can seem a bit intimidating to ask your model to switch sides or move around a lot but as long as you communicate well and keep it fun, it’s no big deal. They want good photos too!
I find that having your subject back lit creates beautiful soft lighting during midday.
It is important to note however, that some spots might not work. That’s ok too, you can move on or try to circle back around later in the shoot.
If the lighting is super harsh, I always recommend finding shade. Not super dense shade, you still want there to be light, but enough so that the sun is not casting strange shadows or fading out tones. This is especially helpful mid day.
When shooting in bright light it can be beneficial to use other tools to work with the light. I personally don’t use reflectors but know they can be of great service when it comes to lighting (the only downside is that you will likely need somebody to hold it while you shoot). There are other creative ways you can “bring in help” though. My favorite trick? Nature! I love taking leaves, flower petals, rocks, etc… and shooting with them in front of the lens. It can help to manipulate the lighting and creates a unique photo.
This can be tricky if you are shooting on film or with limited storage (though I suggest you always bring back up memory cards) but I find that taking a good amount of shots saves my butt in the long run. Even if you don’t love the lighting, take a few more photos just incase. It’s not a great feeling going back to photos in post and realizing that you wished you’d taken more photos in one location.
When you can’t change it you gotta learn to work with it. Don’t be afraid to play around with different posses and lighting, find creative solutions to the issue of lighting. I like playing with shadows when I can’t get rid of them, creating and emphasizing contrast by using the harsh lighting to my advantage. Shoot around with it! Encourage your model to do interesting poses that will captivate viewers and work well with the lighting to create a large story. Have fun!!!!
As much as we wish it was so, the world doesn’t stop just because we are taking photos. This is especially true in cities where people crowd the sidewalks, and tourists fill the most popular areas. So how do you take photos in front of a cool wall while people scurry past, trash bins crowd the sides, and a man walks back and forth behind you? These are some of the troubles we faced.
This is similar to my previous tip but it’s really important. Move around to get the best angles, often you will end up with more original photos doing this. I don’t just mean move side to side or around the location, I’m telling you to get higher and lower and diagonal and all over the place. I had Phelan stand on a bench, and I shot from below, so that you couldn’t see the garbage laying against the wall.
Sometimes you have just have to wait for somebody to pass or for an area to clear up. it’s okay to move on to another spot and come back or to wait 30 seconds for someone to move.
I encourage people to keep shooting, even if it’s busy but it’s important to be aware that other people are trying to get through their day too. Be mindful of how much space you are taking up. While I often keep shooting and let people move around us, I also think it’s important to be aware of when this might not be appropriate. I, personally, try not to block sidewalks, and always let people pass. For instance, Phelan and I made sure to stay out of someone’s way as they moved their tools from the side of this building to his car. He was clearly just trying to do his job and I don’t want to make it any harder than it needs to be.
There’s the problems that may exist by people just scurrying by and accidentally photobombing, then there is the gross discomfort that can come from strange men (or women) stopping to watch, comment, or approach you and/or your model. This happens frequently to me, especially in cities, and can be a huge bummer. Phelan and I just ignored it and moved on but it can prove more complicated at times.
This is the most important thing. Trust your gut. If someone is getting too close, too interested, or you are just getting an off feeling, walk away and try to go to a more public setting. I carry pepper spray with me, especially when shooting by myself. It shouldn’t be necessary but it is. Keep you and your models safe.
This is honestly my best tactic, especially for guys walking by. Don’t give them the satisfaction of your attention. You have a job to do, so keep doing it
It can be easy when faced with an uncomfortable situation to forget that you aren’t alone in it. Really, you should be doing the opposite. I find that when a shoot attracts unwanted attention it can isolate me and the model from one another. Don’t let this happen. Engage with your model, roll your eyes at the annoying men (they tend to be men from my experience), make a joke, and gage how they (your model(s) are feeling. Be supportive of one another, even as those around you are disruptive and negative.
@aliviasobeyphoto
The only thing better than photos of delicious food? The delicious food itself. I had the pleasure of photographing the behind the scenes moments that go into the final products ultimately posted on Savory Servings With Sav, a food instagram highlighting simple, creative, and healthy meal options.
See the photos, learn about the face behind the food, and get your recipe!
Brooke and Kyle booked their first shoot last winter. The L.L Bean tree display made Freeport Maine resemble the North Pole... it was just as cold. Now about 7 months later, and at least forty degrees warmer we were able to shoot again.
Both Brooke and Kyle are such joys to be around and embody every quality that could be wished of from a client. Understanding and compassionate towards each other, myself, and the process at hand, the couple's overall delightful presence is ultimately what produced such gorgeous photos. Being able to laugh when dogs kicked sand at us, or in spite of Kyle's toe-shoes (and socks!), and us all being overcome with happiness at the sight of an elderly couple helping each other along the beach are just parts of what made this shoot so positive and long lasting.
I hope to work with these two again soon, and can only dream of working with other couples like them.
December, 2017
Okay so I'm way late with this... YOU CAUGHT ME! But better late than never... right?
A couple months ago (April) Indigo and I teamed up for our second shoot... totally on a whim. I had been struggling to find inspiration and didn't even know if she would be home from college but I knew I needed to just get out and shoot. To my pleasure not only was Indigo available but she appeared to be as in need (and excited for) a good photography session as I was.
Then the morning came. Rainy is an understatement. The air was freezing and the wind strong, causing tree branches to tremble and the rain drops to torpedo against any object in their way. I had woken up early by chance but already felt the urge to just be in bed for the rest of the day, possibly week. I probably would have too if my friend hadn't urged me to pick him up and bring him to a local coffee shop (where he then bought me the best breakfast sandwich I'd ever had).
The rain got worse throughout the morning and neither Indigo or I were all that motivated. She pointed out that driving was bad and I was optimistic that rescheduling would be best. But then something changed. Indigo last minute proposed the idea to shoot right in the old port. I was a mess, didn't have clean clothes, and really wasn't feeling ready to shoot but we did it. I hopped into Indigo's car and we were laughing right off the bat. We talked and talked, the rain seeming to make our sad stories a bit lighter.
We found parking, struggled to pay the meter, and then upon eating some delicious Elevation Burger, we went into the rain and (excuse my french) fucking danced. Here are a few pictures to prove it!
Moral of the story is this: dance in the rain.
Life hits you hard sometimes, or sometimes it doesn't seem to be there at all. It's in these times that it is easiest to get back in bed or to allow yourself to be crushed under the weight of of it all. It's also these times however, that it is most important to push yourself out the door and conquer the storm. It won't do any harm,
I have never been one to do anything ahead of time but always have been one to get things done in time. I knew I would eventually decide on a college, just as a couple months prior I knew that I would eventually get my applications in on time. I turned in my deposit 9 p.m April 30, 2018, having only decided upon my decision a few hours before. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know how I feel and I'm tired of hearing about the many things and ways I'm supposed to feel. I'm just exhausted.
Despite my muscle weakening exhaustion, a heaviness weighing down upon my mentality, it seemed that I had yet to break down, to even slightly quiver ( a rarity for me and my mental state). Instead I ran on happiness for about two and a half weeks. Happiness from another human and happiness from denial. While I didn't do much photographing during this time I began to listen to photography podcasts, stories told by great photographers. I began to do my own research and dig up my own sources of inspiration. I have found in these two weeks that my new inspiration (though I have always loved many of these photographers) is darker than my clientele. The twisted, yet raw photographs of Goldin hardly tie into my Senior Photo Marketing.
Yet I crave that rawness, the sadness and horror within the images that are capturing moments of authentic, internal pain. My fingertips were first pushed towards a camera by the depression that seemed to hover over me five years ago and I have since been caught between the happiness of photographing others for their own pleasure and the emotional release that comes with photographing a darker, raw, concept.
five hour drive, NYC, 2018
on our way, New York, 2018
Little Maine seems to be slowly suffocating my expression, my passion but only because I let it... only because I do not take it upon myself to push deeper into what this beautiful (and complicated) state has to offer. Behind this "Vacation-land" face, is a darker interior riddled with the hardship of its population. And this is what I wish to explore.
Every conflict eventually must have a resolution... even if it's not a perfect one. My Instagram is likely to soon be scattered and messy... filled with lighthearted senior photos and contrasted by different-darker- work. I wish to push myself and strive to create photos that resonate with a different part of the heart and mind. While I love shooting work such as senior photos or couples, the feeling of capturing joy and personality in a way that makes the subjects feel beautiful, my artistic soul craves more. So I will do both.
January was 31 days... 31 days that felt like 360. While the majority of my new years resolutions slipped away under the pressure of school,life, and any other excuse I can scramble to find, my photography goals (for the most part) were maintained. I shot a lot and after a couple of weeks it was barely an effort to do. Yes the first 14 days of January meant skipping lunch, skipping school (sorry Mom), and many times meant skipping social events, it soon felt natural and just part of the routine.
What I learned..... Not every photo shoot has to be super deep or conceptual but it always helps to plan in advance (some of these shoots were planned in December). Start with an idea of a photo and move forward, its totally okay to branch away from the starting inspiration as the shoot goes on. And NEVER EVER be afraid of trying new things! It's the challenges that offer opportunity for growth.
Throughout the first month of 2018 I had various ups and downs, days where I felt great about my photography and days where I felt awful. This month however was the most productive period of time I've had regarding photography. I have made several new and revised goals I hope to achieve in the upcoming year. But here's what to expect in the upcoming month...
Until then... here are some of my photos from this month
When I look back through my extremely unorganized WD hard-drive (equivalent to that old storage unit which charges your credit card monthly but is never used except, mine is filled with extremely inconsistent quality photos) I get frustrated. My frustration isn't provoked by my poor choice in angles or ignorance to simple photography "rules" (rules that at times should be broken but first must be learned), no my frustration lies within the lack of photos, poor angles or not.
From January last year I have about fours folders of photos... that's only four shoots. In February I only had two folders of photos and in March, I had four photos total. It felt cheap, as if I had cheated my self out of three months of opportunity, three months of growth. I am determined to not let this happen in 2018 and as much as I wish to commit myself to 365 days of photos, I've ecided to start small. My goal has been two shoots a week.
These photos are the outcome of a crunch on time, no lunch, and lack of preparation for the Latin quiz that would follow. Location should never be an excuse, whether it be a poor lit Latin building, or the (still poorly lit) backyard of Grace's house, make the best of what you have. What makes these shoots so great is that they were fun that they were a challenge.
I had this whole post written and organized in aesthetically pleasing subtopics with cute photos and memes. It took me a week to write but only a second to accidentally delete. That seems to be the way life works though, doesn't it? So here goes Take 2, and I'm going a completely different direction.
I guess I should (re)start with the "why?". Why self-portraits? Why talk about them, why take them, why appreciate them.
First it's important to understand what a self-portrait is and how different they are from selfies. Above I have included the definition Google first provided me with. Notice that there is no "camera" mentioned. Self-portraits can be created through different mediums and with different tools and they are very different than selfies. One can take a self-portrait using a phone just as one can easily hold a camera yet only manage to capture a selfie. The difference is the "artist" part. In order for it to be a self-portrait it must be art and (though I admit this is my personal opinion) the best art, the real art, has a message, a meaning, and emotion. Raw, fleshy, emotion.
The beauty behind self-portraiture is that it's all your own, every step was bled on by you and you alone. Self-portraits requires a certain discipline and vulnerability that is not usually necessary on the photographer's part. And it can be uncomfortable. I feel safest behind a camera, when forced in front of the lens I feel stripped, bare, naked. This is the rawness mentioned above, this is what makes it art.
I'm not going to sit here and write as if my self-portraits are the best, or even close. If I give the impression of doing so then I am sincerely sorry. I don't know everything about self-portraits, I don't even know half of it, I only know as much as I've learned. But your self-portraits don't have to be good to be art. In fact they won't be at first, they might not be for a while, and they sure as hell will never always turn out right. The worst thing is when you put days, weeks, months even, devoting your time to developing one concept and shoot, just to set up your camera, click away, and not get a single shot right. It sucks but it'll happen. You live, you learn, you try again. And again. And again.
My best advice to anyone who wants to try self-portraits is to first start with a message. It doesn't have to be some huge metaphor relating red wine to the societal pressures put upon woman to be the perfect stereotypical worker while also being perfect cliche mothers. It can be small, maybe at first it should be small. But HAVE a message. At the end of the day, when you're photo is not properly focused, underexposed, and unbalanced, that message might be what saves you. I know it's what saved me. When I first started photography 2/3 of what I shot was conceptual and half of those were self portraits. I barely knew how to use manual mode, had no clue how to use tone curve, but struggling a severe battle, war even, with depression and anxiety, I was desperate to try to capture in photos, the emotions that had my tongue tied, that seemed unable to be explained. (I'll attach these photos below).
and holy shit how self-portraits can save you, they can help you feel sane, they can make your emotions tangible. It's beautiful, it's compelling. This is what captivates viewers and why you should appreciate them. Because chances are, those photos were ripped from the deepest part of the artist. That deserves to be appreciated.
I am not a patient person, I care way too much about what other people think, and (despite my many selfies) I do NOT like the way I look in photos. But I love self-portraits. They are difficult, they require time and they require thought, a lot of thought but the effort is what makes the reward so great.
If you're making excuses as to why you haven't tried taking self portraits yet, stop. Sure a tripod and fancy clicker timer thingy mabob are superrrr helpful but they aren't a necessity. A couple of books and a chair make for a great makeshift tripod and I still bring a prop half my size to stand up, focus, and throw aside just in time to get in the frame. 10 seconds is a surprisingly long amount of time to set up the perfect shot. You will take a hundred only to get one good photo but that's all you need. Yes, it is so very awkward and uncomfortable to stand in front of a camera running back and forth trying to click the timer and get back in time to still arch your back in some weird ass pose but that's okay. I've found that the most complex and successful portraits are the one's that were most awkward to set up. So no, I will not apologize to the random people just trying to walk their dogs who had to see me in the middle of a meadow, without pants, pretending to scream for ten minutes straight, because those photos were dope.
I hope this rant brought you something. I always love to hear feedback so leave a comment, never feel timid to start up a conversation with me (just prepare to hear super awkward jokes), and let me see your self-portraits by tagging @aliviasobeyphoto on Instagram.
Of confusion, pain, closure, and more.
I guess I never posted this blog post? Well anyway, here’s a flashback to November 2017 with Aiko.
I have to admit, I was a bit nervous taking Aiko's photos a week before they were due (NOT SOMETHING I WILL DO FOR JUST ANYBODY). I also have to admit I was a bit nervous just being with Aiko in a non school setting. She's funny and fierce, and her eyeliner could cut youuuu. It was one of those situations where I was excited to photograph perfection but also completely intimidated.
We must have chosen one of the weirdest days of November. I woke up and it was raining... we couldn't afford to reschedule. It began to clear up a couple hours before we planned to meet up and by 2 the lighting was perfect. The next battle was the wind. I am a prepared photographer... I have like six extra memory cards and charge my camera ahead of time. It rains? I have a subway bag rady for the camera. Need water? I already got us both bottles. But I am not a prepared human being. I didn't bring any of the basic necessities for any Mainer the week before December. I was freezing. And while Aiko looked like a literal model with her hair blowing gracefully in the wind, I looked like this...
This is why I stay behind the camera....
The photos came out beuatifully however, and I thought I'd share my favorites with you.
This shoot contrasts my usual work, with intense values, urban setting, and bright lighting. Thank you Aiko for helping me push past my own norms and clishes and grow as a photographer.
2017 was a year of overcoming obstacles and paving my way to self discovery. In Decemeber 2016 I set a few goals I wished to accomplish in 2017. Here they are...
Get Fit. Well that sort of happened and then sort of unhappened. Throughout the spring and early summer I was in the best shape of my life. I didn't just look healthy, I felt healthy. Somewhere around August that started to fade away. I'm still a bit confused about whether or not this change was due to lack of exercise, food, hormones, or stress but I would guess it's a bit of everything. The past month I've begun to pick myself back up.
Get As. Yeah no. I used to be an all honors all A student. Last year kicked my butt. Honestly I just didn't commit myself the way I had previous years. 100% my fault. Oh well, you live and you learn.
Book Senior Portraits. Yessssss. This was by far my biggest success of 2017. Not only did I book senior photos but I basically built an entirely new portfolio and fell in-love with photography all over again. I had never really charged for pictures before and was crazy nervous to just dive in but I did research (A LOT OF RESEARCH) and communicated with my peers and other creators and I got (pardon my French) shit done. Success.
Have a fun summer. I did a lot this summer. I took senior photos, I worked at my other job, I played soccer in SWEDEN, I visited two of my best friends in Nantucket, but did I have fun? If I take each part individually then the answer would be "yes" but as a whole, no, I didn't have a fun summer. I may sound like a spoiled brat for saying that but I don't feel bad. Well yes... I feel bad but I shouldn't. This summer dug up some seriously emotional obstacles that I'm still trying to overcome and in the end I think I spent my summer focusing on the wrong things and the wrong people. Next summer will be different.
I don't think any of these goals were complete failures. I did give myself the skills and knowledge to be healthier, my grades in most of my classes improved from my first semester, I booked senior pictures, and I did make great memories with great people over the summer. Here are some moments worth sharing...
I was so blessed to travel with great people, make new friends, and have fun playing soccer.
Chem was a nightmare but I made friends (sorry for excluding you in this pic Tori).
Who would have thought I'd be third wheeling Kaya again. (Is it weird to say "third wheeling someone"?)
I remembered why I love the city so much and got to see Franky not once but TWICE!
(Even if Shannon isn 't in this pic) these friends have turned into the realist people I know... the reason I can even remotely smile at school.
Who would have thunk we'd ever be friends? Yet here we are, the best of pals, traveling the world pessimistically together.
Ok so she isn't in this picture but this was one of our best drives yet. Procrastinating with my best friend while listening to the same ten songs on max, over and over again... what could be better?
Lastly and least these two. Through ups, downs, annoying late night texts, forced hangs, and emotional storms, they were by my side through the whole year.
So maybe 2017 wasn't a complete disaster; good friends, memories, and lessons came from it.
Here's to 2018, with almost the same goals but hopefully better results.
Overall I wish to focus on myself and how I take care of both my mind and body. I want to push past my mental health issues and create my own happiness, as well as continue to capture these moments with my camera.
what are your goals?
New Year... New Me... New Website?
Blogging is sooo 2016 but I've always been a couple years behind the trends. My goal for 2018 is to focus on me... me... and only me. Maybe this is selfish but it's also necessary. I tend to take on other people's problems, the world's problems, and I become weighed down by of things which I have no control over. But no more.
Part of working on myself is working on my brain and soul. This means more reading and writing for the brain and more artistic expression for the soul. 2017 has had many good days but it would be naive of me to ignore the frequent bad days, many of which (upon reflection) I have come to realize were avoidable had I just articulated my emotions. While blogging might be cheesy, I wish to use it as a way to connect my photography to my everyday life and furthermore to my brand.
*clinks wine glass with fancy butter knife* Here's to 2018... My Year.
